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How to be a motivational speaker or self-help guru:

by Brad Hines, 3-31-12

1.) change your name to strong sounding one like: Todd Steel, Brad Hatcher, Mike Powers, Stodd Khan etc.

2.) Have a few basic productivity, diet, personal finance, and interpersonal relationship tips everyone should already know; like make lists, save money, don't be a jerk etc.

3.) Be energetic, and look good. Get the outfit down pat, preferably a trademark accessory a bow tie or a scaly cap. Definitely consider a head set to speak through.

self help guru


4.) Have an original but useless mantra that you repeat ad nauseam. r

5.) Use repetitive, aggressive body language and gesticulations. Particularly steepling your hands, and emphasizing a point whilst saying angrily"the number one such and such..."


  6.) Have dragged out, mildly humorous, self-deprecating anecdotes that segue into your teachings, and ingratiate yourself into the audience.
7.) Use vague, contemporary, buzzy sounding teachings.  
motivational spealerself help guru


8.) Have testimonials from absolute morons. Porn and Games

9.) Have pseudo-scientific reports "corroborating" your teachings, bonus points if you name your company after yourself + "Research Institute" i.e. the Brad Hatcher Research Institute.


The Result: weak minded people who improved their lives from your "insightful advice" attribute and affirm their new success to you and buy all your books and seminar junk, and tell others how swell you are.



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Brad Hines About the Author: Brad Hines is the president of, the founder of, and an Internet analyst. He is a writer who writes about internet and business trends. He can be followed on Twitter: @BradHines and Pinterest at: He's okay, but not great at uniting his intentions.


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